..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
