Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
