Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize