You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
