she looked like the before picture.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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