I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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