so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
