cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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