Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
