1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She even gives head with a lisp.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
