what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I need moral support for this bender
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
