sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize