i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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