i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize