i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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