I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
