I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
