don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize