Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
