goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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