Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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