At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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