I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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