Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
