her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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