laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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