I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
40s are totally the cure
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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