AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize