He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
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I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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