All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
