I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
