Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
