We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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