brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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