One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my shit smells like andre
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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