is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
