I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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