I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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