my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
