I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
