they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
