We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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