I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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