its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
