The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
