He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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