so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
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I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm like, not good at living.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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