Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
