I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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