Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
