I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
