I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
