You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
