And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
it glows. i had to have it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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