My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
