Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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