6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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