Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
