i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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