I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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