Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
